Lesson #3

Don’t ask, don’t tell.

No, I’m not talking about the government’s discriminatory policy on gays in the military. I mean don’t ask a question if you might not want to hear the answer. Honesty is the best policy, but sometimes hearing the truth changes things in a way you don’t expect.

There’s a reason why so many people tell “white lies” about things like their age or the number of sexual partners they’ve had. Because knowing the truth may change your perspective of them. It’s human nature to judge other people. Most of the time we do it without trying.

I have learned that there are some bits of a person’s past that are not relevant in the big scheme of things. Sure, if you are looking to get to know a person in more detail then the more personal details you provide, the more vulnerable you become, the closer you become. But I’m not talking about making an intimate connection here. I’m talking about a potential casual hookup.

Here are some questions that should probably be avoided:

  • How many sexual partners have you had?
  • When was the last time you’ve had sex?
  • Have you slept with so-and-so?

There might be some relevant information that you would like to know, but the trick is in how you ask:

  • Do you have much experience with ___?
  • How long has it been since your last orgasm?
  • Is there anything going on with you and so-and-so that I should know about?

Remember to keep it to only pertinent information that you need┬áto know. Because what you don’t know doesn’t really matter, does it?

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